1. Faith and Peace: Even though we are still not positive about jobs, where we are going to live, or what school my children will go to school, (Although we have a face time meeting with our realtor today (Friday) to decide between two places) there is a peace that passes my understanding. Because, let's be honest, I'm a control freak (see first paragraph) and the only explanation for this peace I'm feeling comes from begin grounded in something greater that me.
2. Maslow's hierarchy: I have been fortunate my entire life to have the bottom two (most important needs met for me ALWAYS (Physiological and Safety). I have never worried about where I will get food or where I will lay my head. I still don't. This is privileged. However, in this moving process it has made me empathetic to those families and students I have taught that those needs are not met as quickly as mine. David and I are educators, we will never make a TON of money, but we will always make enough. However, as we've looked at housing and where we will be SAFE for our children with good schools, zip code matters. (This is not something new, and I've always known this I'm just feeling it more now and growing through this experience) And you know what, the schools that are not rated as high are cheaper places to live. The schools that are rated the highest, we can't afford to live in. To get into a decent apartment many of the complexes have rules that your monthly gross income must be 3-4 times the amount of what the rent is. That means if rent is $2,000 you must make at least $6,000 a month. For some of you, that may be easy. For us, it was an eye opener. I know that housing costs are housing costs and we can't do much to change that. But, it opened my eyes a little more to equity, specifically equity in schools. It sparked something in me. I don't know what I will do with this. Maybe I'll start lobbying, but I know that it is something that isn't sitting right, and that usually means I need to do something with it. I must also be transparent in telling you that the two places we are looking at today are in affluent areas. (We will live in the less affluent teacher housing :) But, we will be fine with a good school for our kids. This paragraph is a little rambling, but I had to get it down. Maybe this will hold me accountable to do something with it.
3. Feelings: "Remember it is okay to feel how you feel then take a big breath and try again. You are strong!" Ya'll, I am crying as I type those words. That is a direct quote from a letter my three year old's teacher wrote her on her last day of school. Her teacher made an acrostic poem for her with sweet, sweet little paragraphs about WHO Eleanor is. Ya'll I'm still crying thinking about it. Just check out the picture below. Her teacher did this for her! I am sorry to my students that I've never done this for you. But, those words underlined in yellow were a gift TO ME on Thursday. When I picked Eleanor up on Thursday, I was a mess. Not crying at her school, but on the verge. Part of it was because leaving the awesome CDC at Texas State is hard. That place has loved us well, and we will be forever grateful for the foundation it has given both of our kids. I saw this poem, and then I took the time to read it when we got home. I read those words: "Remember it is okay to feel how you feel then take a big breath and try again. You are strong!" Those words were written for Eleanor and her big feelings, but they were also written for me to read on Thursday afternoon. So, I let myself cry then I took a deep breath and said I will try again. Then, my sweet, sweet Fletcher (who saw me balling on the couch) came and gave me the biggest hug. He said, "I'm sad too mom, but at least we will be together in Pennsylvania." (Ok...cue more tears even as I type. Why are kids so awesome!?!) Then, I said that's right buddy and we are strong! So there you go. I will keep this poem forever! (Side note: David and I joke that we will need to read these kind words about Eleanor when she is driving us insane :) )
So here is what was on my mind, and what I'm learning. I'm going to go feel how I feel and remember that I am strong. Remember that you are too!
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